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Anger Management Counselling in St Albans, Hertford & Online 

Anger is a natural human emotion that can serve a purpose when expressed appropriately. However, when anger becomes intense, frequent, and prolonged, it can significantly affect our relationships, academic pursuits, work, and overall well-being. After experiencing an episode of anger, it is common to feel remorseful for our actions, leading to feelings of sadness and a desire to isolate ourselves. Conversely, some individuals may assign blame to others for their anger, resulting in a diminished sense of guilt.

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When we feel anger, our body responds with a stress reaction that can manifest in various physical symptoms:

  • Elevated blood pressure

  • Increased heart rate

  • Muscle tension

  • Rapid breathing

  • Trembling or shaking

  • Feeling lightheaded​

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Typical behaviours associated with anger include:

  • Yelling or shouting

  • Raising one's voice

  • Engaging in arguments

  • Physical aggression or lashing out

  • Adopting an aggressive body posture, such as standing tall with clenched fists

  • Moving closer to the source of anger

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What Causes Anger?

Anger can arise from various causes and triggers, and the specific factors can vary from person to person. Some common causes of anger include:

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  1. Frustration: When we encounter obstacles, feel blocked, or experience a lack of progress towards our goals, it can lead to feelings of frustration that may escalate into anger.

  2. Perceived injustice: Feeling that we have been treated unfairly or witnessing unfairness towards others can trigger anger. This could include situations where our rights, boundaries, or values have been violated.

  3. Threats to self-esteem: Criticism, rejection, humiliation, or feeling disrespected can evoke anger, particularly if they undermine our self-worth or identity.

  4. Loss or disappointment: Grief, loss, or unmet expectations can elicit anger as a way to cope with the pain or frustration associated with these experiences.

  5. Provocation or conflict: Interpersonal conflicts, arguments, or confrontations can quickly escalate into anger if communication breaks down or if emotions are running high.

  6. Stress and pressure: Excessive stress, overwhelming demands, or feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities can contribute to anger outbursts as a way to release tension or regain a sense of control.

  7. Past being triggered: Certain individuals may have stronger reactions in such situations and may quickly jump to (sometimes inaccurate) conclusions about others' intentions. This heightened reactivity could stem from past difficult experiences, such as being treated unfairly, frequently criticised, or let down. These scenarios may trigger distressing memories, even without the person realising it.

  8. Alcohol and/or drugs: contribute to anger by impairing judgment and inhibition, intensifying emotions, reducing inhibitions and increasing aggression, inducing paranoia or irritability

  9. Displacement: some individuals displace/direct anger onto others when they are actually angry at themselves

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It's important to note that these causes are not exhaustive, and individual experiences and triggers can vary. Additionally, factors such as past traumas, learned behavior patterns, and underlying mental health conditions can also influence how anger manifests in individuals.​​

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What Therapy for Anger Difficulties Involves

During anger therapy, I can assist you in examining the factors contributing to your anger and finding effective ways to address them. Together, we can identify triggers that provoke your anger and develop strategies to manage it before it escalates. Although it may seem like your anger is uncontrollable, I can introduce coping techniques to help you regain a sense of control. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for anger is an approach commonly used, and it involves exploring your thought patterns and behaviours that perpetuate anger, enabling you to make positive changes in those areas.

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Anger Management Techniques and Tips to get you started

  • Engage in self-reflection: Take a moment to identify what triggered your anger and what you are reacting to. Consider the extent to which past experiences contribute to your current emotions. Can you separate these experiences from the present situation? Are your thoughts proportional to the circumstances? Reflect on the potential consequences of expressing your anger and determine the best course of action in the moment.

  • Practice deep breathing: Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Make your exhale longer than your inhale. You may find it helpful to count your breaths to divert your attention from the source of anger.

  • Take a break from the situation: If possible, remove yourself from the environment and return to address the situation when things have calmed down.

  • Seek fresh air: Step outside and breathe in fresh air to create a sense of renewal and calmness.

  • Engage in physical activity: Consider going for a walk or participating in exercise to release the adrenaline in your body associated with anger.

  • Listen to soothing music: Find music that brings you comfort or relaxation to help shift your focus away from anger.

  • Release tension: If needed, scream into a pillow or punch a pillow to physically release pent-up tension and frustration.

  • Use cold water: Placing your face in cold water can have a calming effect and help to regulate your emotions.

 

Remember, these techniques can be helpful in managing anger, but if you find that your anger persists or significantly interferes with your daily life, seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor experienced in anger management may be beneficial.

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If you are looking for anger therapy in St Albans/Hertfordshire or online I can support you to put the above coping strategies into play as well as introduce you to others to help you tackle your anger.

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If you would like therapy for anger management in St Albans, Hertford or online please email me at contact@hertstherapypractice.com or complete the webform below.

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Further Helpful Resources For Managing Anger:

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anger.htm

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/controlling-anger/

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Contact

St Albans Rooms             

21 Victoria Street             

St Albans                       

AL1 3JJ                           

England   

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And

 

Hertford Well-Being    

5A Great Northern Works

Hartham Lane

Hertford

SG14 1QW

England

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07825910485

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  • How much does therapy cost?
    I provide therapy on a self funded basis and can also see individuals with insurance cover. The rate for self funded sessions is £110 per 50 minutes session. For more information, please see the following page: Fees
  • How do I know if I need therapy?
    Knowing when to seek therapy is an important step in prioritising your mental health. While everyone’s journey is unique, certain signs and experiences suggest that professional support may be beneficial. Therapy can help if you are: 1. Feeling Overwhelmed by Stress or Emotions If you’re constantly anxious, sad, or irritable, and these emotions feel unmanageable, mental health support can provide tools to regain control and balance in your life. 2. Experiencing Persistent Negative Thoughts Repetitive worries, self-doubt, or feelings of hopelessness may signal deeper issues that a therapist can help address. 3. Struggling with Relationships Conflicts, communication challenges, or feelings of disconnection in personal or professional relationships may benefit from exploring patterns and building healthier interactions. 4. Facing Major Life Transitions Significant changes, like a breakup, job loss, or becoming a parent, can be emotionally taxing. Therapy offers a safe space to process these adjustments. 5. Dealing with Physical Symptoms of Stress If headaches, fatigue, or sleep problems persist without a clear medical cause, they might be linked to emotional distress, which therapy can help alleviate. 6. Feeling Stuck or Unfulfilled A sense of emptiness, lack of purpose, or difficulty achieving goals can often stem from unresolved personal challenges. Therapy can guide you toward clarity and growth. 7. Turning to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms Over-relying on alcohol, food, or avoidance behaviors to cope with stress or emotions could indicate the need for healthier strategies. What Therapy Can Offer You Therapy provides a non-judgmental space to explore your thoughts and feelings, identify patterns, and develop skills to cope with life’s challenges. Whether you’re dealing with a specific issue or simply seeking personal growth, therapy can help you move forward with confidence.
  • What happens in the first therapy session?
    The first therapy session is a welcoming space designed to help you feel comfortable and supported as you take this important step toward improving your mental health. Here’s what you can expect: 1. Exploring Your Concerns I will ask about what has brought you to therapy. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, stress, relationship issues, or something else, this is your chance to share your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. 2. Learning About Your Background To better understand your situation, I will ask about your personal history, lifestyle, work, and relationships. This helps create a fuller picture of who you are and what you’re experiencing. 3. Goals We will explore your goals for therapy and we will discuss how therapy will be tailored to your needs. 4. Building a Connection The first session is a chance to see how you feel about my style and approach. I am warm and down to earth which can help create a strong therapeutic relationship, which is essential for successful outcomes. There’s no need to prepare extensively—just come as you are. It’s normal to feel a little nervous, but I am there to support you every step of the way.
  • What types of therapy do you offer?
    I provide evidence-based psychological therapies tailored to your individual needs, including: 1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) CBT is a structured, goal-oriented approach that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. It’s highly effective for anxiety, depression, and stress-related concerns. 2. Schema Therapy Schema Therapy helps you explore and heal deep-rooted patterns developed in childhood that may affect your relationships and emotional well-being. It’s ideal for addressing long-standing challenges such as low self-esteem, emotional dysregulation, and unhealthy relationship dynamics. 3. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) ACT helps you develop psychological flexibility by accepting difficult emotions, clarifying your values, and committing to meaningful action. It’s particularly helpful for managing anxiety, chronic stress, and life transitions. Each therapy type is designed to address different challenges, and we’ll work together to determine the approach that best suits you. Whether you’re seeking help for anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or personal growth, the tailored therapy I offer can provide the tools you need to thrive.
  • How many sessions will I need?
    The duration of therapy depends on your individual needs, goals, and the type of mental health difficulties you’re facing. Here’s a general guide to help you understand what to expect: 1. Short-Term Therapy Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Typically lasts between 6 to 20 sessions for issues like anxiety, depression, or stress. It’s goal-oriented and focused on providing practical tools for change. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): May range from 8 to 16 sessions, depending on the complexity of your goals and challenges. 2. Medium to Long-Term Therapy Schema Therapy: Often requires a longer commitment, especially for deep-rooted patterns or longstanding difficulties like low self-esteem, emotional dysregulation, or chronic relationship issues. Therapy can last 6 months to 2 years, depending on individual progress. 3. Tailored Approach Therapy duration is always personalised. Some people feel significant improvement within a few months, while others benefit from ongoing sessions to work through complex challenges or maintain mental health over time. I will regularly review your progress and goals with you, ensuring that therapy is aligned with your needs. Whether you’re seeking help for anxiety, depression or personal growth, therapy is designed to provide support at a pace that feels right for you.
  • What specific regulations or qualifications do you have?
    I am a fully qualified Counselling Psychologist where I am trained to a Doctoral level. I am registered with the recognised body of the HCPC. I adhere to strict ethical standards, prioritise ongoing professional development, and maintain valid insurance coverage. I ensure I deliver ethical, effective, and personalised mental health care tailored to your needs.
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