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Anger Management 

Anger Management Counselling, Therapy and CBT in St Albans/Hertfordshire and Online

Anger is a natural human emotion that can serve a purpose when expressed appropriately. However, when anger becomes intense, frequent, and prolonged, it can significantly affect our relationships, academic pursuits, work, and overall well-being. After experiencing an episode of anger, it is common to feel remorseful for our actions, leading to feelings of sadness and a desire to isolate ourselves. Conversely, some individuals may assign blame to others for their anger, resulting in a diminished sense of guilt.

When we feel anger, our body responds with a stress reaction that can manifest in various physical symptoms:

  • Elevated blood pressure

  • Increased heart rate

  • Muscle tension

  • Rapid breathing

  • Trembling or shaking

  • Feeling lightheaded

Typical behaviors associated with anger include:

  • Yelling or shouting

  • Raising one's voice

  • Engaging in arguments

  • Physical aggression or lashing out

  • Adopting an aggressive body posture, such as standing tall with clenched fists

  • Moving closer to the source of anger

What Causes Anger?

Anger can arise from various causes and triggers, and the specific factors can vary from person to person. Some common causes of anger include:

  1. Frustration: When we encounter obstacles, feel blocked, or experience a lack of progress towards our goals, it can lead to feelings of frustration that may escalate into anger.

  2. Perceived injustice: Feeling that we have been treated unfairly or witnessing unfairness towards others can trigger anger. This could include situations where our rights, boundaries, or values have been violated.

  3. Threats to self-esteem: Criticism, rejection, humiliation, or feeling disrespected can evoke anger, particularly if they undermine our self-worth or identity.

  4. Loss or disappointment: Grief, loss, or unmet expectations can elicit anger as a way to cope with the pain or frustration associated with these experiences.

  5. Provocation or conflict: Interpersonal conflicts, arguments, or confrontations can quickly escalate into anger if communication breaks down or if emotions are running high.

  6. Stress and pressure: Excessive stress, overwhelming demands, or feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities can contribute to anger outbursts as a way to release tension or regain a sense of control.

  7. Past being triggered: Certain individuals may have stronger reactions in such situations and may quickly jump to (sometimes inaccurate) conclusions about others' intentions. This heightened reactivity could stem from past difficult experiences, such as being treated unfairly, frequently criticised, or let down. These scenarios may trigger distressing memories, even without the person realising it.

  8. Alcohol and/or drugs: contribute to anger by impairing judgment and inhibition, intensifying emotions, reducing inhibitions and increasing aggression, inducing paranoia or irritability

  9. Displacement: some individuals displace/direct anger onto others when they are actually angry at themselves

It's important to note that these causes are not exhaustive, and individual experiences and triggers can vary. Additionally, factors such as past traumas, learned behavior patterns, and underlying mental health conditions can also influence how anger manifests in individuals.

What Therapy for Anger Difficulties Involves

During anger therapy, I can assist you in examining the factors contributing to your anger and finding effective ways to address them. Together, we can identify triggers that provoke your anger and develop strategies to manage it before it escalates. Although it may seem like your anger is uncontrollable, I can introduce coping techniques to help you regain a sense of control. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for anger is an approach commonly used, and it involves exploring your thought patterns and behaviours that perpetuate anger, enabling you to make positive changes in those areas.

Anger Management Techniques and Tips to get you started

  • Engage in self-reflection: Take a moment to identify what triggered your anger and what you are reacting to. Consider the extent to which past experiences contribute to your current emotions. Can you separate these experiences from the present situation? Are your thoughts proportional to the circumstances? Reflect on the potential consequences of expressing your anger and determine the best course of action in the moment.

  • Practice deep breathing: Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Make your exhale longer than your inhale. You may find it helpful to count your breaths to divert your attention from the source of anger.

  • Take a break from the situation: If possible, remove yourself from the environment and return to address the situation when things have calmed down.

  • Seek fresh air: Step outside and breathe in fresh air to create a sense of renewal and calmness.

  • Engage in physical activity: Consider going for a walk or participating in exercise to release the adrenaline in your body associated with anger.

  • Listen to soothing music: Find music that brings you comfort or relaxation to help shift your focus away from anger.

  • Release tension: If needed, scream into a pillow or punch a pillow to physically release pent-up tension and frustration.

  • Use cold water: Placing your face in cold water can have a calming effect and help to regulate your emotions.

Remember, these techniques can be helpful in managing anger, but if you find that your anger persists or significantly interferes with your daily life, seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor experienced in anger management may be beneficial.

If you are looking for anger therapy in St Albans/Hertfordshire or online I can support you to put the above coping strategies into play as well as introduce you to others to help you tackle your anger.

Further Helpful Resources For Managing Anger:

If you would like therapy for anger management in St Albans/Hertfordshire or online please email me at or complete the webform below.


St Albans Rooms

21 Victoria Street

St Albans



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