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  • Writer's pictureAmy Smith

Dealing with being Ignored by Someone you Love

Updated: Feb 21, 2023

Being ignored by someone you love can occur when you are in a relationship with someone and also when the relationship has ended. This can feel highly rejecting, the uncertainty can be difficult to contend with and it may question their love for you. Relationship breakdowns can already be difficult, particularly where you may go from spending lots of time together to then having little or no contact. If your ex cuts off contact this can further increase the emotional pain associated with the relationship breakdown. You may feel you need contact with them to further process the ending of the relationship, perhaps you want to save the relationship or perhaps you are struggling with the pain of going from regular contact to then no contact with them. Here are ways to cope with being ignored by someone you love:


1. Take care of yourself: It's important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally during this time. Eat well, exercise, get enough rest, and do things that make you happy.

2. Reach out: Try reaching out to the person and expressing how you feel in a non-confrontational way. It's possible that they're going through something and need space, or they may not even realise they're ignoring you.

3. Acceptance: Be aware of what you do and do not have control over. If you want a certain something from your ex, perhaps answers, an apology or forgiveness, keep in mind you do not have full control of another person’s actions. Let go of striving for these things as striving for control over things we lack control over is futile.

4. Self-Reflect: Reflect upon what this elicits in you. What thoughts and feelings are arising? If you notice any particularly negative self-talk challenge this and replace it with more balanced and accurate thoughts. Are you placing too much blame upon yourself? What are the various factors that could be contributing to them cutting off contact? Is there anything around this situation that is triggering insecurities from your past which is making this current situation even more painful? For example, when growing up did you face abandonment or not feel sufficiently important? Try to separate out your past from the here and now difficult situation.

5. This Too Shall Pass: Things can feel really painful now, remember that in time emotional pain can reduce and it is about riding out this difficult time.

6. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to talk about your feelings and get support. Talking about what you're going through can help you process your emotions and gain perspective.

7. Focus on other relationships: Focus on the relationships you have with other people in your life. Spend time with friends and family, and engage in activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled.

8. Give yourself space: If the person continues to ignore you, it may be best to give yourself space and time to heal. This doesn't mean giving up on the relationship, but rather taking a step back to assess your feelings and needs.

9. Consider the relationship: It's important to assess the relationship and whether it's healthy and fulfilling for you. If the person continues to ignore you and isn't willing to work on the relationship, it may be time to reevaluate whether it's worth pursuing.


Remember that being ignored by someone you love can be painful, but you are not alone. Reach out for support, take care of yourself, and give yourself time to heal and gain perspective.


If you would like to consider therapy to support you with similar issues, feel free to email me at contact@hertstherapypractice.com or kindly complete the webform.



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