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Writer's pictureAmy Smith

How to Heal from a Breakup: Steps Toward Emotional Recovery

Updated: Nov 21

A breakup can feel like a whirlwind of emotions—grief, anger, confusion, and even relief. Healing from this emotional upheaval takes time and effort, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and rediscovery. Below are practical steps to navigate your journey toward emotional recovery.


1. Allow Yourself to Feel

Suppressing emotions often prolongs the healing process. It’s essential to acknowledge and sit with your feelings instead of avoiding them.

  • Why it matters: Emotional expression helps process grief, preventing it from turning into unresolved trauma.

  • How to do it: Journal your thoughts, cry when needed, or talk openly with trusted friends. Allow space for every emotion—whether sadness, anger, or relief.


2. Establish No-Contact (if possible)

One of the most effective ways to heal is to create physical and emotional distance from your ex.

  • Why it matters: Contact with an ex can reignite pain and stall your ability to move forward.

  • How to do it: Block or mute them on social media, delete their number, and avoid places where you might bump into them. This isn’t about animosity; it’s about giving yourself the space to heal.


3. Create a Self-Care Routine

Focusing on your physical and emotional well-being is crucial during this time.

  • Why it matters: Self-care promotes resilience and helps restore balance.

  • How to do it: Prioritise healthy habits like regular exercise, nutritious meals, and sufficient sleep. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as hiking, painting, or taking long baths.


4. Seek Support from Trusted People

Breakups can be isolating, but leaning on a supportive network can ease the journey.

  • Why it matters: Sharing your feelings with empathetic people reduces the emotional burden.

  • How to do it: Talk to friends, family, or a support group. If your emotions feel overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a therapist.


5. Reflect, Don’t Ruminate

Reflection is productive when it helps you understand the relationship and its ending. Rumination, on the other hand, traps you in a cycle of "what-ifs."

  • Why it matters: Productive reflection fosters growth, while rumination increases anxiety and prolongs pain.

  • How to do it: Ask yourself constructive questions like, "What did I learn from this relationship?" or "How can I apply these lessons moving forward?"


6. Reconnect with Yourself

Breakups often leave a void, especially if you’ve lost sight of your individuality. Use this time to rediscover who you are outside the relationship.

  • Why it matters: Rediscovering your passions and identity rebuilds your sense of self-worth.

  • How to do it: Pick up old hobbies or try new ones, travel, or spend quality time with yourself.


7. Embrace the Grieving Process

Grieving is a non-linear journey. Some days will feel easier than others, and that’s okay.

  • Why it matters: Accepting grief as part of healing prevents self-judgment during difficult moments.

  • How to do it: Remind yourself that healing isn’t a straight line. Celebrate small victories, but also be gentle with yourself on harder days.


8. Avoid Rebound Relationships

Jumping into a new relationship too soon can distract you from fully processing the breakup.

  • Why it matters: Healing requires addressing underlying emotions and patterns, which rebound relationships can mask.

  • How to do it: Focus on self-growth before considering a new romantic connection.


9. Set Goals for the Future

Reimagine a future without your ex and work toward goals that excite and fulfill you.

  • Why it matters: Setting goals gives you a sense of purpose and helps redirect your energy.

  • How to do it: Start with small, achievable goals—whether career-related, personal, or creative—and celebrate your progress.


10. Consider Professional Support

If the breakup feels unmanageable or if old wounds resurface, therapy can be incredibly beneficial.

  • Why it matters: Therapists provide a safe space to explore your emotions, uncover patterns, and develop strategies for coping.

  • How to do it: Look for a therapist experienced in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Schema Therapy, which can help reframe negative thought patterns.


Final Thoughts

Healing from a breakup is never easy, but it’s also an opportunity for transformation. By embracing self-care, setting boundaries, and leaning on your support system, you can emerge from the experience stronger, more self-aware, and ready to embrace the next chapter of your life.


If you're struggling and need guidance, therapy is an excellent resource to help you through this journey. Take the first step—healing is within reach.


If you'd like to consider therapy to support you following a break up feel free to contact me by emailing me: contact@hertstherapypractice.com or complete the webform below.






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