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How to Develop Greater Self-Compassion?

Writer: Amy SmithAmy Smith

Updated: Feb 14

Developing self-compassion can be a powerful tool for improving your mental and emotional well-being. Here are some ways to cultivate self-compassion:


1. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment without judgment. It can help you become aware of your thoughts and emotions and increase your ability to respond to them with kindness and understanding.

2. Treat yourself with kindness: Practice treating yourself as you would treat a good friend. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and offer yourself words of encouragement and support.

3. Self-Care: Regularly engage in self-care activities, such as have a bath, listen to your favourite music, make yourself a nice drink or meal. Find an activity that you find relaxing and soothing.

4. Reframe negative self-talk: Notice when you're being self-critical and try to reframe negative thoughts in a more positive light. For example, if you make a mistake, instead of telling yourself that you're a failure, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

5. Compassionate Image: In your imagination create an ideal compassionate image that is caring, accepting, validating, empathetic and wise. This could be a person you know, or a made up person. It could even be non-human, such as the sea, sky or tree. When you notice yourself being self-critical bring this compassionate image into your mind. Imagine what compassionate and wise words it would say to you in their soft, calming tone. Imagine compassion exuding from them and absorbing this into your body and notice how it feels as this compassion flows through your body. To help with this, try to recall a time when you felt really cared for and/or safe. Cultivate this feeling again in your body and notice how it feels.

6. Practice gratitude: Focus on the things that you're grateful for in your life. Cultivating gratitude can help you shift your focus from negative thoughts and emotions to positive ones.

7. Set realistic expectations: Don't expect yourself to be perfect or have everything figured out. Accept that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks is a normal part of the human experience.

8. Forgive yourself: Let go of past mistakes and forgive yourself for any perceived failures. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and they don't define your worth as a person.

9. Being Open with Others: With those you trust the most, try to be open and somewhat vulnerable with them. Share some struggles you are experiencing. Hopefully you will receive a compassionate response which can be healing and evidence suggests this can help us to be more compassionate with ourselves.

10. Attend to Your Needs: Consider what your needs are. Do you need comfort, care, understanding, safety, more enjoyment from life, to take things more slowly and reduce the demand upon you? If so, take action in this direction to help your needs to be met. This will give you the message (and others) that you are important.


Remember, developing self-compassion is a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and keep practicing these strategies regularly to cultivate a more compassionate and positive outlook towards yourself.


Building self-compassion can be difficult. Seeking the support from a therapist can help to aid the process. If you would like therapy to foster self-compassion feel free to reach out to me via email: contact@hertstherapypractice.com or kindly complete the webform.  I offer therapy online or in person in St Albans and Hertford.



 
 
 

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